Expanded Horizons recently published my short story "blurred edges" here in their July 2009 issue. It's a reprint of a story that was originally published by the webzine Underground Voices back in 2005.

"blurred edges" was an easy story to write because so much of me went into it. I know writers say things like that all the time, but a few of the story's elements are based on my personal experiences. That being said, I must stress that the story is entirely a work of fiction--I did not know a girl whose father murdered her in a drunken rage because he mistook her for a cheap prostitute.

Some of my (sparse) readers who know me personally will recognize the Cherry Lane Motel and Transformers references. There is an actual Cherry Lane Motel, and my godbrother and me loved to watch Transformers (and Go Bots!) when we were growing up. Sadly, he died in a motorcycle accident last fall. I'm not sure there was a bigger ten-year-old Transformers fan than him.

Woke up this morning after a fitful night of sleep to the email below:

Dear six blocks east of mars,

Thank you for your submission to Expanded Horizons. I have read your story, "Blurred Edges," and I like it. We have decided to include it in our upcoming July issue. Congratulations!

Please "sign" the contract at the bottom like I did and return it with a short bio as you would like it to appear on our website. Please also send me your PayPal address or the address where you would like me to
send the check, and take a moment to join our Livejournal community at exp_horizons, or our Facebook community.

Again, congratulations, and thank you for this story!

Dash
Editor

A great way to wake up, if I may say so myself. "blurred edges" is a reprint that was originally published by Underground Voices back in the fall of 2005. I'll post a link to Expanded Horizons and the story once it goes live.

It's been far too long since I've posted, but there has been good and bad news in the meantime.

The good news is that I'm no longer anxious. The story I submitted back in January was accepted after a request for a rewrite. I'll post more about that in the future as details firm up. The bad news is that I haven't written much of anything since that rewrite.

I've felt a bit drained mentally and creatively the past two months, most of it due to things going on in my life. During the much needed and much anticipated free time I have, I don't write because I find myself needing to unwind in other ways. I haven't stopped thinking about writing, though, but I realize thinking about writing and writing are not the same thing.

Since I first started writing, which was way back in middle school, I've fallen into these periods of hestitancy. I know what I want to write, I know how I want to write it, but I can't bring myself to begin the actual writing process.

Sometimes, my hesitancy is just a matter of me wanting the writing to marinate a little more. More often than not, it's a matter of fear.

Fear of what, you ask?

Fear of imperfection. Fear of incompletion. Fear of disliking the prose.

Fear never wrote stories though, right? Or maybe it did.

Today, my plan is to push past my hesitancy and just write.

Back in January, I submitted a short story to a print magazine I've come to respect very much the past few months. The magazine is high-quality, has engaging content and is ambitious in a way I haven't seen before. I won't name the magazine here because I'm afraid I may jinx myself.

Jinx yourself?

Yeah, jinx myself.

I'm a superstitious person when it comes to certain things, including writing, hence the jinx if I mention the name of the mag. So this is where my anxiousness comes in. I've discovered that stories have been accepted for the particular issue my January submission is (was?) being considered for.

That submission I sent in January got lost in the shuffle, which happens. Two months later, I politely reminded the editor of my submission. The editor promptly responded. The story would be tracked down.

In the meantime, I've submitted another story to the same magazine. I really, really like the mag. The editor promptly responded acknowledged receipt of the story. I have yet to hear about the status of my previously submitted story, though. Editors are busy, especially this particular one.

In my previous experience, editors who have misplaced my stories and then found them later didn't accept them. I suspect that's partly because the particular issue I'd submitted for had been filled by the time I queried about my story. I also realize that my story just wasn't to their liking.

Superstition is telling me this January submission has all but been rejected. However, pessimism aside, I think my most recent submission to the mag will have a very good chance of being published. And, for the most part, that's the source of my anxiety. I think these two stories are my best writing to date, and for someone else to recognize that would be validation that makes writing worthwhile.

Now that I'm done talking vague nonsense, it should be interesting to find out what actually happens.

A good friend of mine sent me an email yesterday about my Star Trek post, suggesting I view the original series as television show that was groundbreaking for its diversity during a time when civil rights were at the forefront. Mary Anne Mohanraj (one of the creators of Strange Horizons and a South Asian speculative fiction writer) discusses (in part) the same thing here. I'm somewhat ashamed that I didn't praise Star Trek for this.

But again, as I said in my previous post, I think my disinterest in the original series might have a little to do with generation. Now, neither my good friend nor Mary Anne are that much older than me, but both (I think) would have been seniors in high school when I was a freshman. That's not the ten-year difference my sister and I have, but those four years put them closer to the 60's and the civil rights era than me.

I was born smack in the middle of the 70's and grew up on the South Side of Chicago in the 80's. And even though, I remember singing "Young, Gifted and Black" in school, and the "I'm Black and I'm Proud" slogan being everywhere, obvious products of the civil rights ra, I'm a child of the 80's through and through. I watched MTV often, and I had both a Rubik's Cube and an Atari 2600.

What am I trying to say? I think I'm trying to say that for the children of the 70's Star Trek is viewed as a result of the strong, determined voices of the civil rights era, and for children of the 80's Star Trek gets lost in new-fangled gadgets, Voltron and Transformers.

But then again, maybe my view on the series is severely narrow.

Star Trek the original tv series just didn't do it for me, but my sister, who is ten years and ten months older than me, loved it. If Star Trek was on television in our house it was because my sister had turned it on. For her, it was a tv show she'd grown up with. For me, it was a hand-me-down tv show that was kind of faded and used.

I may have mentioned this here before, but my sister had a lot of influence on me growing up. Not only did she encourage me to write at a young age, she also encouraged me to read and write science fiction. The first time I ever read Dune was her tattered copy. But I just didn't find her love for Star Trek infectious.

I'd say it's a generational thing, but I know people my age who love Star Trek. Yet, when it comes to my sister and me, I think it is a generational thing. The television shows we grow up with have a tendency to be near and dear to us. Name almost any 80's cartoon, and I probably have a soft spot for it in my heart. But not Star Trek.

Truthfully, I can't really tell you why it doesn't appeal to me. Maybe I was too young for it then, but it still doesn't appeal to me now. It's cheesy (which is part of its large appeal to some), looks faded (just like hand-me-down clothes), and the special effects are rudimentary, at best (except for when they get beamed up).

I did watch Star Trek: the Next Generation every now and then, and Deep Space Nine, though. Those shows weren't cheesy (usually), didn't look faded (at least at the time), and had decent special effects (for tv shows)--which is probably why the new Star Trek movie appeals to me.

From the trailers I've seen, it's flashy, has good special effects, and has Zoe Saldana. That's enough to get me to see it. I know. Typical guy, right? Sometimes. Flashy movies with pretty girls do it for me. Flashy book covers with pretty girls don't. Those type of covers make me suspicious.

For the most part, my sci-fi movie and book preferences come down to this: sprinkle a lot of shinies (you RPGers know what I'm talking about) onscreen or in the storyline, and you got me hooked. Keeping me hooked? Well, that's for the next post.

Last night's episode of Lost was my favorite of the series so far. I have yet to discuss it here because it's such a complex television show and I wouldn't even know where to start, though I'm sure if you ask some of its more avid fans, they might say otherwise.

For me, Lost's appeal is its storytelling. Yes, Evangeline Lily is cute, yes, Terry O'Quinn can act his ass off, and yes, Harold Perrineau is versatile as hell, but it's the storytelling that gets me. It inspires me.

Interestingly enough, ER used to do the same thing. Back in college, Thursday nights used to be my "writing nights" because ER aired on those nights (it still does). Back then, after watching an episode of ER, my creative juices would get going and I'd want to write.

I've never talked to another writer about this, so I don't know if other writers have experienced something similar. I know athletes experience something similar in sports, though. In high school I played football--tailback--and was on the track team--shot put and discus. When I saw the other team's tailback rip off a long, spectacular run, or a thrower pop a nice one, I'd get a little amped up. The adrenaline would start flowing, I'd get all tingly, and I couldn't wait until our offense stepped on the field or I got into the ring so I could do my thang.

Watching ER then and Lost now is kind of like that. But don't get me wrong. It's not that I want to "out-write" ER or Lost, it's more like I'm feeding off the wonderful creativity of the shows. In other words, I see a well-crafted creative piece on television, and I say to myself, "I want to write a well-crafted creative piece."

Has anyone else experienced that?